Some things you take for granted and it doesn’t really hit you until you wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning and she’s missing. Her side of the bed is cold and empty but you leave your hand there trying to remember the feeling. Trying to grasp any heat that was once there. When you have a bad dream, she doesn’t have to tell you that it was only a dream… all you had to do was open your eyes and see her sleeping. To wake up to that… the things we take for granted. My memory is flawed, so I remember feelings more than events, emotions rather than moments. How a certain song triggers a page or how a breeze can blow back a kiss. I see her figure sitting by the bed as I try to open my eyes, the light through the curtains made it almost impossible. She smiled and I said, “good morning”. The things we took for granted.
It’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m still wide awake. One problem with not working is that you don’t really have to wake up for anything. There’s no “ooh i should go to bed so i won’t be late tomorrow” mentality. So you stay up while everyone else is asleep and you do nothing. Well it’s not really “nothing” but nothing of importance… refresh some gadget news, watch a few videos, google some trivial information…. and do it all over again every hour. Maybe I can’t sleep… I’m still trying to figure that out. If i actually tried to sleep, would i be able to? But I’m just not sleepy right now. I don’t get sleepy for another hour. Funny, i use to love sleeping. It’s also a pain in the ass to only sleep on one side because of my tattoo. Any day now it should be healed.
My new tattoo itches. They say not to scratch it for any reason. Instead, i should smack it. I’d like to smack the genius that suggested that. It really stings… longer than a slap would because of the fresh wound.
Well look at that. I think my own writing is boring me to sleep because my eyes are getting heavier. Good night.
- How To Sleep Better: 12 Top Secrets (lifescript.com)
- Lucid Dreaming: How to Become The Master of Your Dreams (socyberty.com)
Today I’ve finally completed a work on me that’s about 10 years in the making and it feels like a little weight has lifted from my shoulders. I’ve had an idea for a while now how I wanted it to turn out. It was a two piece project. One of the sun with 8 flairs to signify the 8th month, August. The second piece was, originally, that of feathers near the sun… The idea came to me after hearing about the story of Daedalus and Icarus again (the first time was in school many many moons ago). I forgot how I came about the story but I remember the story. Daedalus and his son, Icarus, was shut away in a tower and the father made wings out of feathers and binded them together with wax to escape. The father warned Icarus not to get too close to the sun because the heat would melt the wax and unravel the wings. I’ll leave the suspenseful stuff for Wikipedia.
I love my family and I got some of the little cousins to draw a pattern on a feather. That way they are apart of it… I’m glad it came out great. So anyways I was going to have 27 feathers for the 27th day. It turned out too messy to be a tattoo so I had to come back with a different design that kept some of the basic ideas. The picture below is the final product. I thought that’s all the ink I wanted done but while I was getting this piece I had an idea of something else I wanted… so there might be another one… but until then, this is how I will remember the 27th of August.
- Old and New Tattoo Designs (quazen.com)
This morning I woke up because the thin sheet I use as a blanket was not keeping me warm anymore. I can’t believe summer is almost over. Usually my favorite season is spring and fall but this year… this summer wasn’t too bad. I was able to do a lot of things outdoors that I’ve been saying I wanted to do. Kayaking was one of them. Though it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, really if you know how to move your arms… you’re gonna go somewhere on a boat. I’ve also done wind surfing, now that was just awesome. I didn’t know it would be so fun falling off a surf board, at least that was my thought the first 5 times. After 30 falls, you think something more on the other side of that thought spectrum. I still haven’t gotten to go camping yet this year, which is a shame but I guess we can still go in the fall. I’m gonna try shoot my own “Man vs Wild” video and fail miserably, but it’ll be fun. It’s also a summer of endings and beginnings.
So I guess it’s nearing the time to put away those flip-flops and shorts and break out the hoodies and jeans. And anything else that changes between the seasons… Definitely break out a warmer blanket.
Last night I had to wake up from a dream. It was a wonderful and meaningful dream. A dream I love. A dream I knew will end eventually, so I decided to end it now. I figured it would be less painful now than later. I’m not so sure anymore. This has been on my mind for sometime. I would push it back and ignore it and even forget about it… and go on happily together. Then we have our talks. These talks… so emotionally draining that just goes around in circles. In the end, we walk away with no closure, no… conclusion. Maybe I knew all along what the conclusion was and I just didn’t want to face it. But every day that passes, I grow closer to her. And when I accepted the reality of our situation, there was nothing else I can do. I can’t get any closer. I can’t.
Just imported my old blog over to here since they were shutting that old place down. I noticed a different sytle of writing then and how I write on this blog. My thoughts, now, seems more organized. I could be wrong.
I’ve upgraded my phone on Tuesday from the palm pre to the samsung epic. It’s a huge jump from webos to android. I feel like i’m still favoring the pre but i’m learning to love this new phone. I’m debating if I should root it now or just wait for the 2.2 update. So far I don’t see any real need to root it, so it’s looking like I might wait. But I never know, I might get bored soon and root it for shit and giggles. I’ve been loyal to the palm pre for a few
1) it’s the underdog
2)webos was (kinda still is) a revolutionary os for any phone
3)their os could’ve been apple‘s biggest competitor
So why did I jump ship? Well let’s start with the first reason why I loved the palm pre, it was the underdog… meaning it was a small company. The problem with that is that it’s hard to compete against giants. Sure, I wanted David to bring down Goliath but sadly it was almost impossible. There were also another “David” in this battle and that name is google. Google started out small but smart. Google didn’t have the presence of the giants already in the market, mainly apple, microsoft and blackberry. So instead of putting out a google phone, they just made the os and let any company use it on their phone. Like, say any pc company using windows 7. And that’s how it grew and grew and grew. Palm… didn’t do that. They came out with one phone. While there were a couple android phones on the market then. Then in a few months they came out with a lesser phone… and there were a few more android phones on the market. Each android phone, topping the last in hardware specs. While I waited for updates or new hardware for this awesome os, android was all over the place making leaps and bounds. Then palm was bought by pc giant hp and gave hope to a new phone soon. But… sadly, still nothing. By now, it’s not the same anymore… hp and palm have a lot to do to gain traction against this already flooded smart phone market. I’m starting to think it’s a little too late. Now i’m not gonna say i’m completely done with webos, but i’m trying out different waters for the time being.